I'll Show You

Every November Putnum Publishing has a big warehouse sale in our area (Broome County, NY). It is held in a large warehouse with aisles made from palets with cases of books on them. They are done by catagory starting with Holiday books and kids books. I went one evening after work and I took my 6yr old with me. I had given her $5 and a bag so that she could pick out her own books. (You know how kids are they don't like when we tell them not today or next time, when you are shopping and they want something.)

So... we get there and she finds the books that she wants, 5 books because she choose books that were $1 each. We walk a little furhter and she decides that she is done and wants to leave. Even tries to say that she is not felling well. I explain to her nicely that we will leave when I am done looking through all the aisles. She continues to whine at me as we are looking. She then plops herself down on the floor and says she is going to sit here and read. I then explain that there are too many people there and she is not allowed to sit on her butt as a fire hazard. Relunctantly she comes with me and continues to whine. At this point I have had enough. I pull her aside and hold her arms and tell her very firmly, face to face...

Mommy- "If you do not stop this right now I will spank you." (I would not have really spanked her but was trying to make her understand I was not leaving.)

G.G.- "Mommy, there is a policeman right over there."

So here I thought that I was going to show her that I was not playing games and I was serious, that it was time to listen and she SHOWED ME. It took everything that I had to not laugh because she was right and had a point. My response was to continue walking because she was going to follow me anyway. Oh and of course there was a policeman right over there.

Is it sad that we as parents can not even use this line anymore to try and make our kids listen because they know that we can get in trouble for actually following through with the "threat"?

Big words for a big girl

Since school has started this year I have noticed some big words coming out of G.G.'s mouth and she is using them in the correct context. Here are a few examples.

Mommy "Where is your brother?"
G.G. "I don't know, personally."

The day that school started here we were hit with a HUGE flood (9/7/11) and we had just had one in 2006. Alot of the same areas where hit again as well as a lot of other areas. Alot of these areas that were hit, people have lost everything. This includes a lot of stores in our area. One of them was Petco. The area that they are in was being evacuated and apparently none of the employees attempted to get there and get the animals out. They tried to blame it on the city that they are located in that they did not know the store was going to flood that bad and that the area was being evacuated. There was a big article in the local paper stating that about 100 animals did die but about the same amount were still alive. They do not sell dogs or cats but they do host cats from our local Humane Society. They also do dog grooming and I had heard that there were some peoples dogs still there when all this happened. (You can read the articles www.pressconnects.com and search Petco.)

So back to G.G.'s story. We were in the car and G.G. and her friend were talking. I could finally hear the conversation and they were talking about Petco.

G.G. "... and I know definitely the workers could have gone there and saved all the animals!"

My son and I are in the front seats and trying so hard not to laugh, because it was so cute and it was said with such compassion.

She then starts in with this conversation...

G.G. "Like ten years ago (and in my head I am thinking, you were not alive 10 years ago where is that statement going.) there were 3 airplanes and the crashed into 3 buildings and a lot of people died."

While this little lines by a 6 year old are not really funny that are absolutely amazing. It shocks me how much she is paying attention and how much she is absorbing and remembering to have opinions about.

Where do these things come from?

Here is another G.G. story...

She got a birthday card in the mail the other day from my best friend, M. In the card she sent her some cash. So, we were at the store that night and she picked out a toy that she wanted. It was a little doll. We are driving along and she says:

G.G. "Oh, man she doesn't have any earrin-, oh wait she does."
Mommy "Are they painted on?"
G.G. "No, they are like my Barbie's earrings."
Mommy "Ok, don't take them out ok. Can I see her?"
G.G. "Ok, here she is."
So, she passes her to me as I am driving. I take the doll and look at her and realize that this doll does not have earrings.
G.G. "Haha! I tricked you and you fell for it!!"

Really where does a first grader get these things from

Fantasy World?

I know a few gum chewers and we enjoy trying out new flavors. Ziggy is one to always show up with some new flavors. So, today while telling us about a new apple flavor gum she found this is what she had to say about it.


"Gum now doesn't keep it's flavor. I want some Willy Wonka gum, that you can put on your night stand and chew for weeks and it does not loose it's flavor. But I live in a fantasy world. I also want likable wallpaper."

Let's hear it for the women who never grow up, ha ha guys we can be young at heart too. Now go out and watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the original or the new one!

Only if it were that easy...

For the past week, due to the massive flooding in our area, we have been staying with a family member. My husband who is a smoker has been taking advantage of the fact that she allows smoking in her home, which I do not. My daughter is always on his case to quite smoking and even more so now with his smoking more noticeable.
Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner last night, she comes out to me with her pointer and her thumb pinched together.

Mommy- "What do you have in your fingers?"
G.G.- "Daddy's cigarette?"
Mommy- I am looking at her fingers starting to freak out and start to ask her why do you have daddy's cigarette, when I realize there is nothing in her fingers. So then I say...
"There is nothing in your fingers."
G.G.- "No there is. Daddy has this button in his brain, I reached in and pulled out the cigarette. This way he won't want to have them again." She then walks to the garbage can and "throws it away."

I was just amazed that my 6 year old came up with this thought. If only every bad habit and thought were that easy to remove from your brain

Story telling

G.G. spent two days and one night with her grandparents and cousins. I met them to pick her up and bring her home. So, on the way home I asked her what she had to do while she was there. She starts talking and shares with me what she did. I ask a few questions and she answers them for me. Then she says...

G.G. "Before we went to bed we were downstairs and E felt something fly over her head. So we hid behind a basket while J went and got Mum and Poppi. You know what it was?
Mom "What was it?"
G.G. "A bat! Have we ever had a bat in our house?"
Mom "Really a bat. Did Poppi get it out? No we have not had a bat in the house while we have lived there. There was one in the house once when Aunt Becky was watching E & J and Granny was there too."

So we continue having our conversation on the way home. She tells me that Poppi did get the bat out of the house. Then I asked her how her ride was with Poppi to the house.

G.G. "It was good. He kept asking me if I was ok."

So she keeps telling me all sorts of things. We get home and I tell her to tell Dad about the bat and she does. I then tell her that she is just full of it tonight. What was her response...

G.G. with her hands on her hips states "Not about the bat story."

Munchkins

So last night I had spent sometime alone with my daughter and then when I returned home I took my son out to get a Frosty from Wendy's. Our boxer, Lucy, sat there whining as we were getting ready to leave so we took her with us. I decided to stop at the Dunkin Donuts drive through to see if they still had munchkins left. This was all about 9:30 at night.
So I pull up to the intercom

Me: "Do you have any plain munchkins?"
Employee: "No."
Me: "Do you have any munchkins?"
Employee: "NO, it's to late for munchkins." this is said with an attitude.

For real, did she really just say that to me?? I looked at my son and said "NO it's to late for munchkins."

So I got Lucy a plain donut, which she really loved! But I could not believe she said that to me. I wanted to reply "Well then it is too late for coffee." but I behaved and did not say anything. Why was it so hard to believe that there might be a few munchkins left?

So the moral of this story, If you want munchkins do not go to Dunkin Donuts at night they will not have them, and you might get a very rude response like "How could you possible think that we would still have munchkins."

Waterfalls and Frogs

My nephew is staying with us for the week, so I thought that I would take the 3 kids to a local hotel that has a waterfall trail at it. However when we got there the waterfalls were not flowing at all, the lack of rain would explain that. (not clear thinking on my part.) So we decided to walk the "falls" anyway. Along the way my daughter states that she hopes she finds a frog, and low and behold she does. She was so excited and carried it in her hands for some time. Explaining how she wished she had brought something with her so that she could bring the frog home.
I explained to her that she needed to let the frog go, and finally she gave in and let the frog go. We walked on for a little bit farther and then turned around and headed back. On our way back she was trying to remember where we let the frog go. All the while saying "Oh, I think that we let him go here. or maybe down there."

G.G.- "Mommy, I named my frog."
Mommy- "Oh, yeah. What did you name him?"
G.G.- "Cutie."
Mommy- "Was it a boy or a girl?"
G.G.- "A boy."
Mommy- "Ok.'
G.G.- "I will always have my frog because I am keeping him in my heart."
Mommy- "That is a good idea."
G.G.- "Yep, he is in my heart jumping around."

A little bit of Warewolf...

"I would love to go out at night, like when I wake up at 2 in the morning and have a cup of tea, with a flashlight and just howl. Especially on a full moon because I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up."

and then she throws this statement in there too...

"Especially because the guy next door has been warned to stop throwing his clothes in my yard."

Randomness

The things that you hear when you are only half listening-

"Have you been drinking?"
"Me! Oh, NO!"
"So, you just smell like it by association?"

"My body hurts so bad you would think that I was hanging from the ceiling fan all night."

A friends granddaughter does not like ants so while sitting on the porch with her one day she says-
"Look at that big ant."
Bare foot the granddaughter goes over and steps on it and says
"Ohhh, looks like you gotta go to the doctors."
For someone who is afraid of ants it did not bother her to step on the ant and have it all squished between her toes.

A drive through the country

The kids and I were out driving through the country headed to a a friend's house to take some photos. As we were driving along a car came up behind us and decided he needed to speed around me. Eventually karma snuck in and that car got stuck behind slower cars and could not get around them and we caught up to him. At that point alls you can think is "ha ha it did not pay to go zooming past me did it?" Anyway back to the story...

G.G.- "I think that there is either a lady or a guy driving the car."
So, I sit there for a second and think well I could state the obvious or I could have some fun with this.
Mommy- "Well, it could be a bear or a dog."
G.G.- "Mommy, animals don't drive car."
Mommy- "I know that, that would be pretty silly."
G.G.- then says "If you left your car in the woods a bear could get in and drive it. So you shouldn't leave your car in the woods. I am so smart!"

Wanting to make sure that I heard her right with the I am so smart line. I asked her what she just said.

G.G.- "Mommy, I am singing."
Mommy- "No, what did you say before that?"
G.G.- "I SAID (all drawn out) if you leave your car in the woods the bear will get in it so you shouldn't leave your car in the woods. Then I said I AM VERY SMART. Then I started singing."
Mommy- "Oh, OK. You're right you are very smart."

When we got home I started to tell my husband the story when G.G. says "That is not what I said." Then proceeds to tell him the story just as she originally said it. I purposefully told him wrong so that she would tell the story.

That's not a nice thing to say

G.G. and I were watching Jeff Dunham and Achmed one weekend. Jeff was doing his routine with Achmed, asking him what he was and Achmed answered and of course Jeff replied with something that Achmed did not like and Achmed's response was "Silence, I Keel You!"
G.G. thought that this was so funny she could not stop laughing. She then started to repeat the famous line 'Silence, I Keel You." So you know how funny it is coming from a puppet? Well imagine how funny it is from the mouth of a 5 year old.

G.G.- "Mommy."
Mommy- "What?"
G.G.- 'Silence, I Keel You! (laughter follows)
repeat a few more times.

My Husband walked through the door during all of this,

G.G.- "Daddy"
Daddy- "G.G."
G.G.- "Silence, I Keel You!"
Daddy's response, was just a look, he really does not care for Jeff Dunham (I know, I know)

Mommy- "G.G. I think that is enough."
G.G.- "I know, it really is not a nice thing to say, right?"
Mommy- "Right."
G.G.- "OK. I say Silence and you say I Keel You!"

She has thankfully not said it outside of the house. I was a little nervous that she would go to school saying it.
Just a little side note- Jeff Dunham and his puppets amuse 5 year olds.

Show and Tell

My five year old excited that the letter of the week at school was "G", tells me that she is going to bring herself, as her name starts with the letter "G". I tell her that she can tell the class that she is a "green eyed girl named G.G." Her response to that is "Mom, I think that they already know that."

So as show and tell day, Friday, approaches I ask her if she wants to wear her green dress for show and tell too. She informs me that she is no longer taking herself for show and tell that she is going to take something else.

Randomness

"Due to my lack of planning and my calender challenged mind... like my brother, he's fat, and he says that he is vertically challenged...  I will see you tomorrow."

"I know that I am fat, but fat people don't like to be told that they are. My friend she is fat too and we talk about it, which is OK because we both are. But we don't go into details."

"I love a man in a uniform. Although the only one that I ever dated was a garbage man. I used to tell him to take the uniform off, I wouldn't let him keep it on, because of the smell. A man in a prison jumpsuit would probably smell better."

"If left my heating pad on my neck too long I wonder if it would set my hair on fire."

Dreams

Ziggy talking about strange dreams...

"You should probably not eat cheese before bed or that stop smoking stuff. I had to stop taking that stop smoking stuff because I was having crazy dreams. Like this one... I went to the mall on my lunch break and went to the restroom before I left.When I came out of the restroom I kept getting stuck in mazes. So, everyone from work came to find me because it was like two hours that I was gone, when everyone got there they were all dressed in Mardi Gras outfits except the for one person he was dressed up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz with big red sparkly sneakers on."

Wonder what the meaning behind that dream was?

The Tooth Fairy

This past week G.G. lost her first tooth. So, we put in under her pillow that night, as every child does when they loose their tooth. The next morning she came to wake me up to tell me that the tooth fairy did not come last night... OOPPSS Big mistake. I told her that maybe the Tooth Fairy had a busy night and did not have enough room in her bag for her tooth or maybe since she lost it late in the day that she did not get the memo that G.G. lost her tooth. SO... How awful could I possible feel that day. So we left it under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy to come the next night. She did come and this is the conversation that we had upon waking me to tell me.

Mommy- sound asleep feels a slap on the head. Eyes slightly open turns to see what has hit me and I see a little girl standing there holding two $1 in her hand.
G.G.- "The Tooth Fairy came!!"
Mommy- "I see. How much did she give you?"
G.G.- 'Two dollars."
Mommy- "Ok, I think that you should put it in your wallet so we don't loose it."
G.G.- "Ok. I am ready for some cereal."

So we get up and we continue the conversation.

Mommy- "Wow, she brought you $2?"
G.G.- "Yeah. I think I know why."
Mommy- "Why?"
G.G.- "Cause she missed me the other night. So she gave me $2 cause she gives the other kids $1."

Daddy gets up and calls out to her.
Daddy- "Did the Tooth Fairy come last night?"
G.G. "Yeah."
Daddy- "How much did she give you?"
G.G.- "two dollars."
Daddy- "Wow."
Mommy- "Tell Daddy why you think that she left you that much."
G.G.- "Because she missed me the other night and so she left me $2 cause she left the other kids maybe, $3 or $4 or $5s."
Mommy-I don't think that she gave the other kids that much. I think that cause she missed you the first night he gave you $2."
Daddy- "I don't think that she missed you the first night. I think that her bag was so full that she could not put one more tooth in it or it would break."
G.G.- "Yeah you are probably right."
Mommy- "what do you think that she does with all those teeth?" trying to get her to say something silly...
G.G.- "I don't know."

So while I did not get a very creative answer with what she does with the teeth I did cover the Tooth Fairy's butt. I think that she may owe me one. A little girl was not upset and pretty excited to find $2 under pillow the next morning.
Lesson learned

Randomness

This posting is just a hodgepodge of things that I have heard out of the mouths of everyone throughout my day. Instead of making separate postings for these ones I thought that I would collect them all and when there are several I will share them all in one post.

Ziggy- "It takes me back to like the 60s/70s. Because I'm old ya know."

Guppy- "... I like fungus', apparently." The funny part of this statement is the apparently statement.

Ziggy- this was said about a male that came through the door that she found attractive. "I'll hold your flashlight for you. I'll make your light shine bright."

I came into work and stated that I thought the moon looked like a Chesire cat. Ziggy states the following... "Really, I thought that it looked like a pork rind."
I just don't know where these things come from.

Hair Color

While sitting with a friend one day we were discussing and looking at new hair colors and styles.

She shows me a picture and says...

Sadie- "What do you think my boss will say if I come in with hair like this... (black and purple)?
Me- "I don't know but, probably would not be happy. Most places have dress code rules"
Sadie- "I do not remember seeing anything about no purple hair."
Me- "I still don't think that it would be a good idea."
Sadie- "Well, how do they not know I don't come from planet Goofball."

I think that she was trying to imply that she could get away with the colored hair if she explained that she did not come from planet Earth that she was from planet Goofball.

Now also remember that this comes from the mouth of an adult and not a child...

High Heels

While with friends one day we were discussing high heels. There were a pair that I seen at a store that I feel in love with but they did not have my size. So we were talking about heels.

This is what one of the girls had to say about heels...

"I'm falling apart, I'm getting old.
I have heel spurs and arch problems.
I'm getting fat and my feet can't take wearing heels anymore."

You just gotta laugh, how can you not. She, we will call her Ziggy, even laughs.

"I Bit My Finger!"

While making dinner one evening, my 5 yr old daughter was sitting in the kitchen with me and this is the conversation that we had...

G.G.- "Mommy, I bit my finger."
Mommy- "Goof. Why'd you do that?"
G.G.- "I'm not a goof."
Mommy- "Well tell your mouth not to bite your finger."
G.G. "I did and it didn't listen. See, (mouth opens and finger goes in it.) Ow. It did it again."

Oh the things that little kids say...

Welcome!

I want to welcome everyone to the new blog!! I have always enjoyed writing, so I thought that I would start this blog to share so many things that I hear. A lot of the thoughts are going to be randomness. Things that I hear throughout my day that make me smile or make me say "OK, where did that come from."

I have promised everyone that I would not use their real names when using their statements on the blog.

The ramblings are from females that are apart of my life of all ages.
My goal is to write one everyday. Eventually I would like to get to a point where everyday of the week will have a theme. But for now, since I have a list of these ramblings I am just going to post them in no particular order.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope that when you are feeling down and come to the blog for a cheer up these brighten your day!