Randomness

"Due to my lack of planning and my calender challenged mind... like my brother, he's fat, and he says that he is vertically challenged...  I will see you tomorrow."

"I know that I am fat, but fat people don't like to be told that they are. My friend she is fat too and we talk about it, which is OK because we both are. But we don't go into details."

"I love a man in a uniform. Although the only one that I ever dated was a garbage man. I used to tell him to take the uniform off, I wouldn't let him keep it on, because of the smell. A man in a prison jumpsuit would probably smell better."

"If left my heating pad on my neck too long I wonder if it would set my hair on fire."